Dear Women, Stop Searching For What Defines you; Just Believe In Yourself!

What exactly are the qualities of being a woman? What certain rules and regulations do I follow to show that I take pride in embracing my womanhood? I have been told, there is a certain way of dressing up. Women have been told that they have to look a certain way to show the world how feminine they are.


It amuses me as I sit and wonder how adapting myself to a dress code, time restrictions, limited interaction with the opposite sex symbolizes my femininity. I had been nurtured a different way. My vocabulary included words like empowerment, equality, feminism over fashion, clothing, and makeup. I was constantly reminded how my appearance will not define my ideology but my actions will. I was never asked to keep my body covered in a specific societal manner. However, strict instructions were laid down to keep my mind covered in knowledge, education, and intellect. Walk barefoot or wear the highest of heels, make sure your head is held high (mann neevan matt uchi”, was what my religion taught me) and you don’t stomp the downtrodden as you walk. You could wear anything as long as you’re walking on the right path, I was told. I was taught to question.


Every time I was to feel a statement questioning my character or presence of mind, I was asked to question back. I was taught about the existence of a thin line that existed between questioning and insulting. The thing about life is, you are not given a specific one. You make it all by yourself. Life’s a lot like building a house. A lot of things go into shaping it and one is bound to feel devastated when the walls come tumbling down.

When my set of values raised a question against me, I felt betrayed, I went through an identity crisis. When my appearance defined my ideology when my footwear defined my path when my questioning was seen as an insult. I felt cheated. What defines Femininity, I ask again?


What will you ask me to wear, what footwear will you give? What will you rub on my face, I ask. Will the clothes that you give me cover the doubts that I have in myself right now, will your high heels help me lift my spirits, will your restrictions capture my mind? What will you make out of me, if not just a dummy that you can play dress up every day? And if that doesn’t satiate you dominating hunger, how many times would you take that dress off? Do you have an answer?

Before you form your opinion about this and start using the F word *you know what I’m talking about* you must know the opinions belong to me and do not represent the point of view of Daily Social.

What do you think defines womanhood? Tell us in the comment section!

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