7 Things I Learned Using Tinder In My 20’s

Once upon a time, I was called the most offensive ‘S’ word ever.
That’s right, I got called a ‘Spinster’.
“Tell your parents to find you a nice catholic boy, men”, I was advised much to my chagrin.

Since that is something the inner romantic in me could only consider as a last resort, I bravely cancelled my subscriptions to any benefits I may have signed up for with friends and signed up for dating apps instead.

These are the lessons I learned on Tinder:

1. It took me a while to realise that the guys in my radius weren’t quite looking for meaningful conversations or plus-ones to Harry Potter Fan Conventions.

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2. Most of them didn’t even want to talk about Harry Potter, they mostly just wanted to get their quaffles through my hoop.

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3. The whole swiping right on a person’s picture routine is damn shallow, yes. You have better chances of finding mono than finding true love on Tinder.

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4. Tinder is incredibly useful when you want to look busy so you can avoid small talk in public places.

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5. If you’re not photogenic, even though you’re really good-looking IRL, Tinder won’t work in your favour, sorry.

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6. Tindering is HARD! Sometimes you get to meet great people and experience new things, but there are also times you’ll find yourself wondering why you bothered to get out of your PJs at all.

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7. On the upside, you can have random conversations with complete strangers and have little to worry about.
To the boy I whined about my sacroiliitis to, I am sorry.

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By the end, I was kinda creeped out and knew I wasn’t getting anywhere. Like literally, I didn’t go on any real dates. Turns out, there are more Barney Stinson’s around than there are Ted Mosby’s.
So I uninstalled the app and went back to the stone age practice of asking my friends to set me up instead.

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Amanda Francesca Mendonça

After spending pretty much all of my teen years waiting for a Hogwarts letter that never came, I gave up and settled for being a wizard with words instead. A hopeless romantic, when I’m not penning down short stories, I’m busy imagining my own happily ever after.

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