Unhappy With The Dating Scene, A Woman Marries A Man Who’s Been Dead For 300 Years

Dating sucks.

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We know it, you know it, the guy sitting across from you as you’re reading this knows it. There are of course those fortunate assholes who find true love and end up happily ever after. But for the rest of us, it’s just one disappointment after another as we wait for the bill in an overcrowded restaurant.

But Amanda Teague is not willing to put up with this crap anymore, she’s transcended the awful ritual and done something truly special. Married a man who died 300 years ago.

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Her husband Jack was a Haitian Pirate who was executed in the 1700’s.

Amanda is a female Jack Sparrow impersonator. she believes that her interest in the popular Pirates of the Caribbean character is what drew the spirit of Jack towards her. Apparently, 300 years of death has done nothing to dull Jack’s skills as a ladies man as he eventually convinced Amanda to be with him.

According to her, their relationship is just like anyone else’s, including a healthy sex life.

“It is well known that people often feel a spirit touch their hands, their face or their hair. The only difference with having a sexual relationship with a spirit is obviously that sense of touch goes a lot deeper. You can literally feel the physical act of what the spirit is doing to you, and the spirit can feel it too.” (Source)

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After their relationship evolved, Amanda was happy to marry Jack in a small ceremony involving family and friends. The ceremony had to take place on international waters, however, as that is the only way it would have been legal. Even though Amanda has been previously married, she insists her previous partner was never as connected to her as Jack.

The wedding utilised a medium who would say “I do” on Jack’s behalf and a pirate flag to represent him.

So here’s wishing the couple good luck and a long afterlife.

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Posted by

Mehernaz Patel

"Not as funny as she thinks she is..." -Facebook Comment Section

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