Hi Everyone, I Really Need To Increase My Salary, So Could You Please Read This?

Oh…hi. You’re here already. So I really didn’t plan for this. But now that you’re here, it is my duty to mildly amuse you. In fact, let me be the first to say “hi”. But as mentioned, I’m short on cash, so here’s a Shutterstock image I couldn’t afford to download.

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So what can we really talk about?

We can try to talk about each other’s interests. Mine, for example, is to increase my salary. Why? Why not? Life is getting expensive, isn’t it? After all, Amazon and Netflix subscriptions don’t pay for themselves. I mean seriously, I paid 500 rupees so I don’t have to wait extra days till my phone holder thing arrives.

A phone holder. Who needs a damned phone holder?

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Okay, I see you’re losing interest. In case you would like to leave I have also presented a few options for comments that you can utilise for FREE! Even though they will make me very, very sad.

“Yeh kya bhenchod bakwaas karte rehte hain?”

“Page needs a better admin!”

“I am going to unsubscribe”

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But for those of you who are still here, we could always discuss things people prefer to read. And that’s not even something that I would need to think too hard about. We could, for example, talk about Salman Khan and how his movie Tubelight was the first to get its poster in Times Square. You guys loved that one…

You could also take a look at Mia Khalifa’s thoughts on Dunkirk. Why would an adult movie star hold sway over the opinions of an audience regarding a movie from an award winning director?

Because she’s entitled to it you pervs.

And also – boobs. 

If you by any chance feel that I have shamelessly plugged in previous work that has done well, good for you. In fact, here, enjoy this picture of Mia Khalifa next to Ranveer Singh. What does one have to do with the other? Who knows?

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But really, thank you for sticking with me this far, I believe it should go a long way in helping my salary go from sad to slightly less sad.

Thank you all…

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Posted by

Mehernaz Patel

"Not as funny as she thinks she is..." -Facebook Comment Section

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