A Room For Two: How Planning Getaways For The Sex-Deprived Became My Thing In College

When I attended college, it wasn’t just someplace where students drooled over their desks as Professors droned on about inflation in Economics. It was also a place where many people found a market to exercise their newly discovered entrepreneurship skills and supplement their weekly allowances.

Me? I ran a niche charity service to help the needy. I planned Sexcapades.

In case you have no idea wtf I’m talking about, the dictionary defines it as:

sexcapade-1

I’ll define it as – A getaway giving young lovers the privacy they crave, seeing as that’s exactly what I did.

 As you’re probably aware, attempting to get cosy anywhere in Mumbai could get you fined by the cops, or worse, snitched on. So our sex lives pretty much depended on the availability of empty classrooms and the keys to the terrace. Sometimes, we’d have to wait weeks before we found ourselves home alone to get onto the next base in the grander scheme of things.
It was one of these times that I found myself hiding in a walk-in closet and the solution hit me: Sexcapades!

A window of privacy without all the waiting and worrying and occasional embarrassment of being caught in the act by your neighbourwali aunty.

Theatre Kiss
That evening, I sat down with a pen and a piece of paper and a mission to succeed. Some googling and a few phone calls later, I was holding the virtual key to a hotel room and a plan. It was flawless.
So flawless that it was only a while before I was planning the next. And the next after that. I realised that while these sexcapades were fun, I loved planning them just as much, even after my relationship ended. I began planning for friends.
Then before I knew it, I was planning for friends of friends. It was a complex operation requiring the highest secrecy possible. All information was confidential. Notes passed on in class and then discarded after.

So many horny teenagers, so little time. I loved it.

sexcapade-2

Because sexcapades take planning. Precise planning. I should know.  

You need to carefully save up your pocket money to afford one. You need a list of affordable (cheap ) yet decent (not shady) hotels. You need transport. You need to track your menstrual cycle. You need a waxing appointment at the parlour and an hour with the razor to get the jungle down there in control. You need to pick out the perfect lingerie. You need to discuss all possible interpretations of the term – How far do you want to go?

You need to walk into a pharmacy and buy a box of condoms. (Which is way better than having to buy, or use, an I-pill btw!)

And lastly, you need an excuse to get out. The rest, I can help you with. This one you need to figure out on your own.

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Amanda Francesca Mendonça

After spending pretty much all of my teen years waiting for a Hogwarts letter that never came, I gave up and settled for being a wizard with words instead. A hopeless romantic, when I’m not penning down short stories, I’m busy imagining my own happily ever after.

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