Here’s Why Long Distance Relationships Aren’t That Hard!
Let me first clarify. Yes, long distance relationships are hard. But they aren’t as difficult as most people perceive them to be. It surely hurts when we can’t be with our loved ones, especially when they need it. But the way it has been judged, misunderstood bothers me.
I happened to Google long distance relationships and I was bombarded with articles such as, ‘How to make long distance relationship work?’ or ‘Here are your life-saving tips for anyone in long distance relationship’ or ‘Struggles a couple go through when they are in long distance relationship’- which made me wonder on how we perceive a long distance relationship.
After talking to few of my friends and colleagues, I was shocked and surprised. Most of them haven’t been in one and yet are pessimistic about it. Which brings back to my topic, the perception that revolves around relationships which aren’t bound by geography. Why aren’t they as hard as people think it is!
Whenever a person chooses to be in a long distance relationship, they know beforehand, that it won’t be something similar to the usual relationships. It is similar to being in a relationship and people who are in one can certainly vouch for that. They are together because they connect, and really love each other. THEY CHOSE.
In general, relationships are formed because the two people have something in common, they share same values, beliefs, and have a common goal. They like and respect their partners and for some, it is okay if their partner isn’t in the same city.
It’s the technology and the societal perception that has made long distance a villain. For centuries, the couples were parted for some or the other reasons. the communication also that time was far more worse than what it is right now.
My colleague said, “I think it is both society and technology that is harming the relationship, be it long distance one or a normal one. Because of WhatsApp, Messenger and Skype, there is a constant unconscious need to be in constantly in touch with each other. Plus, if your partner is staying in another city or a country, you get sympathetic looks from the people.”
Also, if you are honest and clear about your relationship it makes it a lot easier. A central aspect of any long distance relationship is communication. Being so far apart forces you to develop your communication skills. Without being together in person, body language (and even texts) can be very difficult to understand from an emotional point of view. So you naturally learn to communicate your feeling openly and concisely. This makes for a much more open and connected dialogue with your partner and makes you both feel a lot closer.
See whether it is a normal relationship or a long distance one, the base foundation is the same. As long you communicate freely about your feelings and are honest, things tend to work out. My friend said,“It wasn’t as if we never fought, but when we did, we actually sat down and talked about our thoughts and feelings openly. We talked about things that hurt us.”
Listening to her, my another friend who is currently in LDR, said, “It shouldn’t be glorified or shamed. Whenever I tell my friends that my boyfriend is in Delhi, most of them ask me is “how do you work it out?” “Don’t you feel insecure?” “Don’t you feel he might be cheating?” or “Aww, I am so sorry. It must be really tough not being with him.”
Everyone likes to classify all long distance relationships as “hard.” And in a sense, yes, long distance relationships are harder than non-long distance relationships. However, the more you want to be in a long distance relationship, the easier it is.
If you enter into a long distance relationship willingly, optimistically, and prepared to tackle whatever obstacles come your way, there’s nothing that you and your partner can’t do. You can endure long hours of not being able to communicate and long weeks of not having sex — and still love each other just as much as you did before you began. (source)
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