5 Incredibly Awkward Moments Featuring Hollywood Actors At Indian Awards Shows

India has always had a bit of a “gora” complex. 

For a country that was governed by white people for an unreasonable amount of time, it’s taking an exceptional amount of effort to let it go. From putting fair skin on a pedestal to constantly treating regional languages as inferior, we really can’t seem to get over the vanilla goodness that is Britain and America.

But India isn’t a country that will work out its issues in a healthy constructive way. We’ll do it the one way we’re best at, embarrassing the crap out of people. And what better way to work through a 100-year-old grudge than at an awards show?

#1 Salman Khan And Jean Claud Van Damme’s Compliment Contest

Indians living abroad develop accents in a year or so. How else will their relatives know they shop at Walmart?
An Indian talking to foreigners develops the same accent in about 5 minutes.

And not even “superstar Salman Khan” is immune to this effect as evidenced by this less than comfortable exchange he has with Van Damme at the 2006 IIFA awards. Acting like two friends set up for a blind date, they compliment their way through the presentation which mercifully ends with an eloquent speech by Amitabh Bachchan.

#2 Keanu Reeves And His Unfortunate Bandmates

This isn’t really that bad for Keanu Reeves. He looks perfectly happy in the kurta they fashioned out for your grandmother’s curtains for him.

What kinda sucks was the fact that when Shilpa Shetty introduced the members of the band Dogstar who performed at the event, she really didn’t seem to know who the hell the other two were. Mumbling the first two names out incoherently before exclaiming “Keanu Reeves” at the top of her voice.

So great for Keanu Reeves, not so great for kindly bandmates Robert Mailhouse and Bret Domrose who were reduced to Sharmaji’s less successful sautela beta.

#3 John Travolta And His Ghantis

The man is a legend. He’s an actor, dancer and all-around talent.

So is Priyanka Chopra.

But put the two of them together and make them dance to Tune Mari Entriya and the world watches delighted but also mortified.

And please understand, we are not saying he is embarrassed in any way, he looks incredibly happy. So does Chopra. In fact, everyone in the audience is clapping along too.

Except for Dia Mirza’s split-second expression that perfectly captures the what-the-fuck-ness of the things going on.

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#4 Angelina Jolie

Indians f**king love it when white people talk in Hindi. We lose our collective shit.

Which is how when one of the world’s most talented women comes on stage with Shah Rukh Khan and says “Namaste India Walo!” the crowd at the 2000 IIFA awards went absolutely nuts.

But nothing takes the more than Shahrukh Khan condescendingly/jokingly telling  Jolie “This isn’t Aishwarya Rai” as Sanjay Leela Bhansali walks up to the stage.

#5 Kevin Spacey’s Infamous Lungi Dance

So, after the whole Kevin Spacey debacle – we don’t want to make any jokes about the man.

And thanks to this stunning performance at the IIFA awards, we will never have to. Ever again. We’d never thought we’d be saying this – but that you IIFA awards. Thank you.

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Mehernaz Patel

"Not as funny as she thinks she is..." -Facebook Comment Section

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