Friends With Benefits: 10 Things You SHOULD Know Before You Dive Into the Deep!
Friends with Benefits is the new instant coffee.
The combination of instant gratification, temporary commitment and being spoiled for choice makes it a tempting package, hard to say no to.
But if you thought it was the perfect solution to a drama-free life, you thought wrong.
Because while having FWBs is incredibly convenient, things can go horribly wrong if you start to blur the lines. So here are some basic guidelines to get you what you want without any heartbreak involved:
#1: Know exactly what you’re getting into
To avoid confusion, awkwardness, and disappointments, look at things honestly and discuss your needs and hard limits. Discuss every little detail, iron out every crease and set boundaries.
#2: Know that this is a temporary arrangement
Make sure that your FWB is a person with whom a clean break is possible because you don’t want to find yourself in an awkward spot later.
This means no one in your social circle: neighbours, colleagues, or people who are currently friends. Also, no Exes. Because when it ends, (and it will) it needs to be without loose ends.
#3: Know if you’re emotionally ready
A lot of people agree to being FWBs with someone they like thinking it’ll lead to something more, or looking to fill some kind of void in their lives. This is a recipe for disaster.
FWB arrangements are kind of like an add-on to your life that you enjoy while you can. Like a sale. You shop while stocks last. Then you move on. There’s no “happily ever after.”
#4: Know if your partner is emotionally ready
Even if you’re great at following the rules, the success of an FWB arrangement also depends on your partner’s emotional stability. Make sure your partner isn’t someone who often bursts into fits of anger, makes unreasonable demands, is jealous or a hot mess.
#5: Know that this is a zero expectations arrangement
That means neither of you can expect the other to sleep over, cuddle, meet family and friends or “hang out” outside the bedroom.
#6: Know that there’s no accountability
Outside of the time you’re in bed, you and your partner are entitled to do whatever you’ll want to, including seeing other people. So no keeping tabs.
#7: Know that this is a purely physical deal for sexual pleasure only
It’s important that both partners in an FWB understand that it’s just temporary and therefore, remain available in the dating market. This avoids any misunderstandings about the arrangement being anything more than it actually is.
#8: Know that drama is best left at the doorstep
Keep it fun, light and flirtatious. Don’t discuss problems. Don’t engage in arguments. At the first sign of strong negative feelings, end it.
#9: Know that you’re still expected to be your sexiest self
Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t mean you can slack off when it comes to keeping yourself fit and well groomed. On the other hand, you do have the freedom to explore your sexual desires free of judgement so by all means, dig in.
#10: Know that this arrangement benefits both
It’s true that most people get into FWBs to give themselves a chance at a satisfying sexual experience. But it’s important to be nice and make sure you give back as much as you receive. After all, sex is an intimate act shared by two.
We’re lucky that today, exploring our sexuality is no longer as much of a taboo as it used to be. Having said that, acting like sex is “no big deal” or being callous about it is just stupid.
At the end of the day, remember that getting into an FWB involves sharing not only your body but also your vulnerabilities. And that’s not always easy.
So let me leave you with this: Friends with Benefits does not work for everyone.
I should know. I’ve tried.
KEEP IN TOUCH!
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