7 Of The Shittiest “Cheap First Date Ideas” We Found On The Internet
Love is the worst. Not because it’s hard to find. Woh to sab jaga mil jaata hain. Love is like a Ferrari. It’s technically easy to find, but cannot be maintained on Indian roads.
But because Indians are optimistic to a fault, we try repeatedly to make love happen. We make movies, sing songs about people we love, dance around trees and mountains singing these songs. We install Tinder, then we uninstall and re-install Tinder, then uninstall again when we realize most people on Indian Tinder are married. But we never, ever give up hope.
Which is why there are countless ideas on the internet for cheap, affordable dates for you and your loved one. Even though most of them are terrible. But not as terrible as these.
#1 Play hide and seek in a corn field (or the woods)
Before we go any further with this one, haven’t these people seen any horror movie…ever? In case they haven’t let us enlighten them.
Wouldn’t it be underwear soiling-ly terrifying to have a loved one chase you through a field of corn? Screaming out your name, begging you to return? Yes, yes it would.
If it’s not, it’s because you’re picturing a rugged Hrithik Roshan type chasing after you, with love. But that’s not what the average Indian male looks like is it?
#2 Practice Kama Sutra
Plus, what the hell is practice supposed to mean? Do we not actually do anything? Do we stand around in workout gear pretending to have sex? while motivational music plays in the background? Is their idea of a date to break your back while that “baar baar ha” song plays form Lagaan?
Do these morons actually think back surgery is cheap?
#3 Go on a very long walk around your neighbourhood at night
Honestly, are these suggestions just trying to get people killed?
And even if we let go of how creepy it would be to just walk around in the middle of the night, it’s like you’re just asking for all your society’s aunties and watchmen to question “Woh kal wala ladka kan tha?”
#4 Dream about your dream house
I haven’t phrased this, the tip-writer has.
I guess it would be sexy to sit around and talk about rent vs ownership and what kind of locality you and your lover want to live in.
You can even talk about how you’ll raise children there, grow to resent each other and get a divorce. After which you’ll both die wishing you hadn’t bought that home because the loan is still left unpaid.
Actually, this might be a brilliant idea to save up on cash –
#5 Be a kid again
Guys, this is super illegal. Like not Salman Khan illegal – Sanjay Dutt illegal!
Please don’t pretend to do any of this…
#6 Play strip poker
Okay, objectively this is sexy…but think about it logically.
While this might be appealing in foreign countries where people are used to wearing multiple layers of clothing they can sensually take off…what happened in India?
Most women are wearing a t-shirt, some pants and underwear. Most guys are sitting around in unflattering chaddis. Is this really what you want ladies? Is it?
#7 Play frisbee
If I have to explain this one, I am very disappointed.
But if you insist –
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