15 Of The Dumbest Possible Reasons People Got Brutally Dumped, As Told By Reddit
Breakups aren’t fun for anybody. Except for the producers of ice-cream and alcohol.
But whether you’re the dumper or the dumped, there’s typically a good reason for ending a personal connection to someone special. Unless you’re one of these people, in which case any old excuse will do.
So savour some of the biggest douchebags and least lucky people on Reddit, whose relationships ended in a less than savoury manner.
#1 Years ago, my brother once broke up with a girl because he just couldn’t get comfortable with her large forehead.
Ahh, high school.
#2 I was 6 years old. She was 5. I was the tallest kid in class and thus got the girl. However, she dumped me because Charlie ran faster than me. Fuck you, Charlie. Fuck you, Jessica. Fuck you both.
#3 She basically left because I refused to apologize for cheating on her.
With her sister.
In a dream.
…that she had.
#4 Still not sure…when I was 14 my girlfriend handed me a note as she got off the bus that said she was breaking up with me but not to worry because it wasn’t about _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
To this day still, I have no freaking idea what those seven blank spaces could be…?!?!?!
#5 “Your beard is too scratchy.”
#6 In high school I broke up with a really nice guy because he wore a black turtleneck to school…
#7 Left me because she didn’t want to add rice to the sex life.
#8 In high school, I broke up with a nice girl who was totally into me just because she said she needed to get off the phone to go take a shit.
At 16, I was too grossed out about girls taking shits so I never picked up the phone when she called back.
#9 My friend broke up with a girl for not liking Eminem.
#10 I broke up with her near Christmas because I didn’t know what to get her for Christmas.
#11 My friend got broken up with for not texting his girlfriend back for two hours. He was in the hospital.
#12 My manager broke up with her fiancé cause he wanted to cuddle her in cold weather…
#13 She smelled like soup. She smelled exactly like Campbell’s Beef Vegetable Soup.
#14 “You remind me too much of my brother.”
That confused the fuck out of me.
#15 I was dumped by someone who started reading the Twilight books and was told:
“You’re like my Jacob, I want to find my Edward.”
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