10 Signs You Have Fallen In Love With The Wrong Person
Love is a fairly popular word and there is no denying the fact that it is one of the most beautiful emotions ever. Yes, it’s not a bed of roses, but it’s worth the fight. Although, I am not a relationship expert but if there is one thing that I see happening around me, it’s the emotional baggage, heartbreak and collateral damage that love leaves people with. Even my own newsfeed is full of words like ’emotionally unavailable’, ‘narcissist’, ‘for granted’, ’emotionally abusive’ and so on.
There is no doubt about the fact that a healthy relationship is about willing to give your all, without it being affected by what you get in return, however, sometimes our emotional vulnerabilities lead us into investing in people that take much more than we can give. We don’t realize but the relationship does way more damage to us because of our choice to keep pushing ourselves on them, than they being unresponsive to our love. So how do we get to know whether we are with the right person or not? Here are 10 signs that would give you a stark clarity.
1. The very fact that you’re asking this question
Thank you for that click on my article, but the very fact that you want to read about it, shows you need to contemplate on who you have given your heart to.
When in love, it is but natural that you flow with the roller coaster journey of your hormones and the emotion. But at the same time, you need to stop, ask yourself, if this is exactly who you would want to be with. Forget the ‘Flames’ list you just made, dig deep into who you are and check if he/she would really love the real you?
2. You’re unhappy the moment you’re alone
Yes, when you are together, it’s a ‘sky full of stars’ and ‘butterflies in the stomach’. But what happens when he/she leaves and you’re all by yourself? If you end up being really unhappy, not wanting to do anything but just overthink about them (missing them is not included in here!), there are fair chances that you’re in it for the fear of being alone. A true relationship should leave you with much more vigor to live your life, irrespective of who’s around you.
3. You don’t do things that made you happy anymore
Just play the rewind button and see if you stopped writing, painting, singing, attending concerts or even meeting your friends after you got into this relationship. You may not feel the need to do all this while you have them by your side, but a healthy relationship would not take the one thing that you truly loved doing from you.
4. It feels like too much emotional work
If you’re with the right person, there is no way, love would be anything but a smooth workout. Yes, you can have little bumps and fights, but it would never drain you to the point of being unhappy and exhausted. If love feels too much work, you’re probably loving the wrong person.
5. You feel you’re way more in it than him/her
Love should always be a two way street. If you feel you’re the only one to plan your outings, text first, call first, celebrate birthdays/anniversaries and this is a constant poke in the back of your mind, perhaps, it’s time you actually face the reality and talk to the ‘love of your life’.
6. Losing them is your biggest fear
Love is all about security and if losing him/her is the biggest fear of your life, this is not love my dear, its sheer emotional dependence. Pure love would never leave you in such a jeopardy and yes it is about letting go and seeing if they come back to you or not.
7. You’re constantly rechecking what you said or might have said
This is a relationship we are talking about, it’s not a power point presentation where thinking “I could have done this that way” would make a difference. If you constantly find yourself overthinking, rethinking and trying to rephrase your conversations with him/her, you are nibbling on a basic fear of being misunderstood all the time, which is not healthy. If they love you, they would know where you were coming from.
8. You never visit each other’s dark sides
Love is not just about spending moments together and making sure all ends well on that Saturday night. Sometimes, love would come with its trenches and ditches and you two would be gliding along together.
If you have a relationship that doesn’t go beyond discussing movie tickets or choosing cafes to meet, there’s a fair chance he/she doesn’t want anything but a ‘rosy picture’ from you. True love would always want to see your ugly side, the struggles, the worries and the fears.
9. Fights happen the moment you are distant
Now, this might have two causes. One, you’re missing each other and frustrated over the distance. Two, physical presence is the key to your relationship. If the latter is the case and they have a pattern of fighting the ugliest, the moment you are out of their physical boundaries, its time you take a note.
10. Discuss this and see if they flip out
If by now you’re into the trap and thinking about him/her, almost getting a check at every point, worry not, go to the ‘apple of your eye’ and pour your heart out. Their reaction would probably give you an answer. And you know, what I mean here.
Love is beautiful and if there’s one thing your beloved should be best at, it’s making you grow as a human being and getting the best version of yours out of yourself. Choose the one you invest your heart in wisely.
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