Liked what you saw on DailySocial?
10 Questionably Sexy Products In Case You Forgot To Buy A Gift For Valentines Day
Sex is subjective. There are things many people find sexy and then things only that weird dude from the fourth floor is into. But still, thanks to the internet, you can enjoy your preferences in healthy and sometimes shady ways. There are multiple places you can buy your creepy shit from. But lurking on these sites are funny sex toys that will truly make you wonder what they were thinking.
A fair warning, you might not want to get naughty with anyone after seeing these.
If you do, congratulations! You have won the internet.
#1 Willy Warmers: Socks for Your Co_k
Men around the world…is this a thing? Have you ever had trouble keeping your penis warm? Why?
Since when have pants failed to do what they have been designed to? And what about regular underwear? Has the cold really gotten that bad? Is global warming a lie?
Plus, someone somewhere had to knit this. a proud moment in their lives.
#2 Garlic Flavoured Condoms: Lasooni Murga
Do you really, really, really like garlic bread? Then you have found the perfect condom right here! Why go for boring flavours like Strawberry or Pineapple or something refreshing. When you can have your penis smell like someone burping after eating chutney.
#3 Vladimir Putin Butt Plug – No Jokes, We Don’t Want To Get Arrested
Like I said. No jokes. Because a Put-In butt plug speaks for itself.
There is some poetic justice in making a butt plug out of a man who is infamous for not tolerating the homosexual behaviour, which is why we encourage only straight married couples to indulge in this treat from Russia.
But(t) if you don’t like communism too much – democracy isn’t too far behind. Thanks, Obama!
#4 Half Thongs: Gareebi Ke Din
Now that we have addressed what happens when your penis is too cold, there are definitely moments when your penis is so hot, even underwear is a huge burden your mardaangi cannot bear.
There can’t possibly be a scenario where this is appealing to anyone can there? How hot can it possibly be? Plus, this horrible trend has found its way into Christmas as well.
#5 MacAweenie And Cheese: Unnecessarily Sexy Maggi
Okay. I am not a man. But are you guys really into having it…eaten? Like, boiled in a pot, put cheese sauce on it, eaten?
I’m guessing not, but the makers of this product don’t care. Nor do the makers of these products –
#6 Penis Crowns: Tirchi Topiwale
If you’re a Game Of Thrones fan, you might think this is a crown. You would be right, except, it’s not exactly for the head. Chalo yahi baki thaa.
Somebody looked at a penis and really wanted to put a hat on it. So that’s exactly what these people did.
Why? why are people so obsessed with this thing?
Yep, that snake goes there.
#7 A Candy Cane Dildo: We Could Make A Cheap Santa Joke, We Won’t
There has been a lot of focus on dudes throughout this article. Let’s try and add something for the ladies as well. Because when the Lok Sabha has a reservation for women, it would be rude of us not to have one.
So there’s this. A glass candy cane designed for your hoo-hah. Because that’s what every woman wants, apparently.
#8 Penis Egg Fryer: Ande ka Funda
For those souls who clearly don’t have a basic understanding of human anatomy.
Ande waha nahi milte. Ande doosri jagah milte hain.
Idiots. Now a ‘Uterus Egg Fryer’, that would be dope.
#9 Fundies: Do Jism, Ek Jaan
Unlike everything else on this list, this could just be sexy in theory. Till somebody realises, they need to pee.
Then it’s all downhill from there.
#10 Jesus Christ!
There is a baby Jesus butt plug you can buy…with real money. We are so sorry.We do no intend to offend any sensibilities.
So are there any of these you would like to use with a loved one? As the saying goes – “Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.”
KEEP IN TOUCH!
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Don't worry, we don't spam