This Woman’s Story On Her Fiance’s Last Message Will Leave You In Tears
We are so used to hearing and reading a love story that we assume that it would always end up on a happy note. We make plans for the future with our lover. We think that we still have time for more laughter, more warm hugs, more ‘I Love You’s’ that we forget that we can not predict future. We don’t realise that the next moment we may not be there. We just keep on postponing on things that matter to us. That dream vacation or waiting for the right moment to say how much you love the person. We think we have tomorrow to make up the today.
If I just ask you to remember the last thing you said to your loved ones, what would it be? “I don’t want to talk” or a hurried “I am busy, will talk to you later” or an “I love you, will talk you soon”? What if I tell you, God forbid, that it might be the last time you are hearing from that person? Would you like to change it or not?
There is a Quora thread in which someone asked: ” What was the last thing you said to someone before they died?” and there were many heartwrenching answers to it. But one of the answers changed my perspective. It was written by Apoorva Mohan. She talks about her conversation she had with her fiance before she heard the news of his demise.
“It sucks that I haven’t been able to talk to you for 5 mins straight. I’m sorry. I will make up for it once I’m back home. I love you. Ride safe tomorrow. Send me Snapchats.”
My last message to my fiancé the night before he died in a motorcycle accident.
“I know what you’re having to deal with. It’s alright. Will ride safe. I love you ”
His last message to me. These words are etched in my memory.
I was out of town for a conference and I had been so busy with work, I hadn’t talked to him properly. He went to bed early that night so as to wake up at 4 am for his ride. It was February 25th. He sent me that snap at 5 am and he was dead by 6.30 am. I came to know about the accident when his uncle called at 11.30. I knew right then that something horrible had happened to him. Otherwise, his uncle (who didn’t have my number) wouldn’t be calling me. He said, ‘I’m going to tell you something, you need to be strong’. That was all he needed to say and I collapsed.
My worst nightmare had come true. I refused to believe that the love of my life was no more. I was on the floor, writhing in shock and grief. I saw all our hopes and dreams come crashing down.
After that phone call, everything else just went by in a haze. Someone hugged me while I screamed and wept my eyes out. Someone booked my flight. Someone packed my bags. Someone dropped me at the airport.
I remember calling my family one by one. I remember talking to my sister who broke down on the phone call. I remember making calls to his friends and giving them the news. I remember crying the entire time I was waiting to board the flight. I remember a kind stranger who offered me water. I remember another one who bought me a sandwich. I remember feeling absolutely numb the entire flight home. I remember wondering what his last thoughts were. I remember thinking I was not strong enough to see him. I remember my dad and his friends waiting to pick me up at the airport. I remember falling in my mom’s arms and shaking with grief. I remember my little brother trying to console me.
I spent the entire night sitting beside his coffin. I cried myself to sleep on his mother’s lap. I was surrounded by his friends who loved him and were worried about me. We exchanged stories about him and laughed. Next day he was to be cremated. In Hindu custom, women aren’t allowed to go to the crematorium. But his uncle said ‘screw that’ and took me and his mother along. I saw his father perform the last rites for his only son. I watched as his body entered the furnace. I turned to my best friend and told her I was scared. She held my hand and his mother held the other. As I saw him engulfed in flames, I whispered “I love you” one last time…
Writing this post was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It was so painful, I had to write this in bits and pieces. I miss him every day. Sometimes you just realise how quickly everything can fall apart, until it does. And no matter how tightly you try to hold on, it’s already gone. It’s been exactly 3 months now and I am nowhere close to being okay. I’m happy to have loved him but I still keep hoping that he is going to come back to me.
I’ve learned that time does not heal anything, you just get used to the pain.
Edit: I’m adding the details of the accident to answer the DMs I have been getting here and Facebook. He was on his KTM Duke 390 on the ECR near Mahabalipuram on way to Pondicherry. The exact details of the accident still aren’t clear. But consensus was that he collided head-on with a bus approaching from the opposite direction and died on the spot. Immediately after the collision his bike caught fire and was reduced to ashes, he suffered superficial burns but the people nearby were able to move him away from the fire before it did serious damage. He had all his protective riding gear on. But his helmet wasn’t equipped to handle high impact collisions, something he was aware of and had wanted to get a better one. He thought he had time until the next month to get it. But he was wrong, it was too late.
Perhaps, life is all about twists and turns. But if we could just remind ourselves to think before saying, we would be a happier place.
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