If Hindi Movies Have Taught Us One Thing, It’s Keep Your Wife Away From Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan is one of the most important men in the country, even though his job is to basically pretend to be other people.

Shah Rukh Khan


But for all his stardom, SRK has worked really hard to get where he is. And even though people might think an actor’s job is pretty easy, it’s not. Especially when you end up doing something similar day after day after day.

And in SRK’s case, it’s stealing peoples wives and girlfriends, or at least trying really really hard to. Actually, sometimes he doesn’t even try, the ladies just can’t resist. Which is why it’s worth taking a look at the man’s filmography just to see how many times he’s managed to do this.

Please Note: This is solely to entertain. Zyaada offence mat lena. Chances of him stealing your wife/girlfriend are practically zero. 

#1 He Screws Over Poor Salman Khan In Kuch Kuch Hota Hain

Shah Rukh Khan


So imagine you’re filthy rich, a really nice guy and about to marry the woman of your dreams. For most of us, aisa imagination aukaad ke bahar hain, but still, try.

Now, a few days before your wedding you befriend this delightful child who has the same name as your wife to be, no problem. Then, you catch your wife on a dark rainy night, your wife says “I love you” and you’re not quite sure whether she said that to you.

But still, you continue to pretend everything is okay.

Then the night of your wedding your wife says – 

“Listen, my best friend’s wife died. And because I am wearing Indian clothes, he loves me now. Soo0000…k bye.”

#2 He Hits On Kuljeet’s Wife And Then Beats The Shit Out Of Kuljeet In DDLJ

Shah Rukh Khan


Do you want a gorgeous Punjabi family man who is a bit of an asshole and likes to go hunting? Or do you want some random dude who stalked you in Europe? Who is a much bigger asshole?

If you’re sane you want the first one. Unless Shah Rukh Khan is involved.

Even if he is an asshole the size of the border wall, you’ll still love him and every piece of poo that comes flying right out. Which is the only reason Simran could possibly run away from everything and everyone she knows to be with a dude.

This dude doesn’t have a job, you haven’t packed any chaddis and your entire family now hates you. Great.

#3 Cheating On Abhishek Bachchan In KANK Is Fine, If You’re Doing It With Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan

Source (L), (R)

Karan Johar ki subtlety is like the colour purple on Yogi Adityanath’s outfit. Non-existent.

Which is why in a movie about extra-marital affairs, he can’t help but make the affair super romantic super sexy and super stupid. Because why be honest with your spouse and explain things to them when you can have sex with SRK in a hotel room.

It’s like this man was born to steal your lady…

#4 He Tries To Steal His Own Wife In Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Shah Rukh Khan

 Source (L), (R)

Dude, yeh aadmi biwi churane mein itni mehenat karta hain.

Seriously, we have never been as dedicated to anything as this guy is to get women to leave their husbands. Even if there isn’t another guy, SRK will go that extra step and steal his own wife. Because where’s the thrill otherwise?

Granted, the reason is much nobler here than any other film. Countless Indians who are royal failures with the opposite sex will definitely understand how difficult it is to impress people when you have absolutely no style or sex appeal.

But still, it’s fun to note the only time a woman doesn’t leave her husband for Shah Rukh Khan is when her husband IS Shah Rukh Khan. 

#5 Jab Harry Met Sejal And Ruined Her Chances At Marrying Her Husband

To be fair, this time, Sejal was an idiot too. Because *SPOILER ALERT* the ring was in her bag all along. Which means, they did an incredibly expensive Europe Darshan to find something she already had. 

Because women can’t handle things in their own purses.

Because, sexism.

Shah Rukh Khan


Shah Rukh Khan 7


Shah Rukh Khan


This time, he might just have done Sejal’s original husband a favour.

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Posted by

Mehernaz Patel

"Not as funny as she thinks she is..." -Facebook Comment Section

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